If you know me personally, you’ve probably met that crazy, coily, wild and reckless mass of curls and awesome that sits on top of my head. Her name is Squiggles. She earned that name because every single one of her strands coils in some way, either in a lazy, loose wave pattern or a violent and ferocious curl of bad 80′s perm proportions. If you were to pluck a strand from my head, it would instantly be the envy of all kindergartners everywhere, for every strand on my head is an example of the perfect and often enigmatic squiggle. Be jealous five-year-old Jimmy…be jealous.
However, despite how awesome my hair is, there are some nuisances that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
- I shed, a lot. This in and of itself is not the worst thing in the world. But I shed a lot and I have horrible eyesight. So, say there’s a stray hair on the floor, I’m not wearing my super-powered-glasses, and the AC kicks on. The stray hair of doom moves and I’m instantly thrown into a frenzy of panic and worry. It could be a spider, or some other creepy crawler. About thirty seconds later, I’m swatting at something that fell from my head. No, I don’t look ridiculous at all….
- It’s a bit of a paradox, or something. I have about three different textures on my head. The front part of my hair is frizzy, but otherwise tame and more on the straight side. The sides of my hair are I guess what you’d consider typical nappy hair. But the back of my head…can you say the coup de grace of all things nappy and curly? It’s super thick, and there’s a section of my hair where the word “coily” doesn’t even fit. The springy tails from pink pigs salivate in utter envy at how much tension this part of my hair contains. Thus, it’s hard to find a product that works well for all three textures of my hair.
- I’m a little bit limited when it comes to styling. This is more my fault for not being proactive about learning how to do hair. When stretched, my back of my hair grazes my shoulder. So it’s still…relatively short. I could do two-stand twists or a variety of other styles, but those take forever. It also costs a mini-fortune to pay to have it done. Thus why my hair is either always under a beret or in an afro.
- It’s dryer than the Sahara desert. And the Texas weather does not help at all. So I spend a good chunk of my time conditioning it, deep conditioning it, spritzing Infusium 23 over it, praying to the hair gods over it, sacrificing jars of Ultra-Sheen for it, and doing ever other ridiculous thing to keep my hair from drying out. Problem is, you can over-moisturize your hair, and this can cause breakage, which I think I’m experiencing right now. A remedy to this is to add protein treatments to your hair routine (or whatever you’d call what I do to my hair, since I don’t really have a routine.) But so far, any time I’ve tried to do a protein a treatment to my hair, even a mild one, my hair because gross and horrible and brittle. I guess that’s somethng I’ll have to figure out later.
Despite all the “crises” that Squiggles causes me, I still love her. She’s a pretty good representation of my personality; multifaceted and a little out place most of the time.